NSFW Sunday Will Seduce Your Own Really Humiliating Lesbian Intercourse Tales! | Autostraddle

Introducing Embarrassing Lesbian Intercourse Story-Fest 2012!

If you’ve disregarded:

Have you observed exactly how every time any person raises some thing gross about lesbian sex, we usually link to
the fingernails post
? This is because the web badly does not have the lesbian/bisexual/queer-girl-person intercourse exact carbon copy of modern’s Intercourse tales or Sassy’s

Mortifying Times.

You almost certainly have actually an embarrassing sex tale you want to tell the world-wide-web. For gifts! Your tale could be small or long (50 to 4500 terms appears in regards to right) and that can be cringe-worthy or hilarious.

The winner will receive the Pop your own Top kit from
Great Oscillations
(a type of this kit was previously
evaluated by NSFW Sunday
), which include:

+ Hitachi Magic Wand

+ Fuchsia Pop Top Deluxe Silicone accessory

+ 2 oz. bottle of Please Fluid Lube

+ And internet reputation!

Vote for the favourite from now until Friday
! The winner is announced next week. And then: it’s the perfect time. Here, probably the most humiliating, mortifying, unwww mylol comfortable, or humorous lesbian intercourse tales published by you.


1. Lesbian Auto-Sex

My personal recent sweetheart and that I were on the in the past from cinema one-night, and since I found myselfn’t resting over we decided to pull over into an area to produce “use” of my car. Long tale short, we had fantastic gender and decided to leave, we went along to change the car around, also it had been totally trapped from inside the dirt. We experimented with everything to get it aside, including the woman wanting to push it generating the woman slipping level on her face within the mud. In conclusion I got to contact my Dad (whom did not realize about gayness or mentioned girlfriend) at 1:30 a.m., describe we were trapped in a field, exactly why on earth we might actually experienced the field at all, and get him in the future tow all of us completely.

via femmethings.tumblr.com


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2. Not Gender from the Beach

You know how they state that “sex on coastline” is truly sexy and interesting and so they have a cocktail known as after it? Really which is BULLSHIT. Although whoever “they” are probably designed like, a warm bright beach with blankets and maybe a chaise, and not a cold, windy night on Manhattan seashore which, if you’ren’t from Los Angeles location, is like the anus of beaches … in a bad way. Anyways, i want upon this woman i am matchmaking, nevertheless wind helps to keep blowing sand within my face/in her vagina, and I’m coughing and it’s literally humiliating. So had been poor. But exactly how perform I get my self? We get back to the woman place, where we proceed to get thus stoned that I actually WOULD NEVER FIND HER VAGINA. Cannot find it. We passed out around the woman ankles. The worst component is, bc the lesbo community in LA is so tiny, we see the lady everyday. As a classic YM issue might state, OMG MORTIFYING.

via lesfemmes.tumblr.com


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3. Fucking and authorities

The summer months before university, I’d my personal very first girlfriend, as soon as I realized the miracles of homosexual sexytimes I found myself certainly preoccupied, to the level to be willing to do so nearly anywhere. Display A: one night after a dinner out, we decided to park my car behind a closed-for-the-summer basic class and go at it. A girl’s gotta do exactly what a female’s gotta perform, amirite??

So things are heading great until we come across headlights behind you and now we recognize THIS IS THE COPS. We get outfitted as rapid as humanly feasible and after a few frantic moments of, “YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE BUTCH ONE,” “NO YOU ARE,” we choose to get equivalent duty and in addition we both get out of the car. The cop is a huge old dude and clearly amazed to see two females arise from vehicle. He is completely, “Just What Are you women undertaking back right here?” and that I cannot even consider intercourse occurred to him as a chance, even though we were wet, disheveled, the vehicle was actually passionate, etc. HETEROSEXISM AT the FINEST! Therefore we’re like, “Oh, uh, hanging out, sorry.” The guy eyes all of us suspiciously and says, “Well, I’ve got to take your info.” My lady is actually freaking down about her moms and dads obtaining wind of something, but the guy assures all of us it is simply routine treatment. So the guy hands united states a notepad and has all of us record the names (exactly why he don’t merely require all of our licenses, I have not a clue). The guy shines his torch therefore we can easily see the notepad immediately after which I observe … my personal sweetheart’s hand is COVERED in blood. I assume I’d received my personal period during sex and hadn’t observed. Thus IMMEDIATELY the cop is a lot like, “WAIT, YOU’RE BLEEDING. WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE?” And my personal girl sees and freaks aside and accocunts for some crazy story about having slashed herself throughout the pocket knife on her behalf keychain. The cop claims on looking the automobile (for systems?) and, finding absolutely nothing, eventually ultimately ultimately lets us get. Not before my girl has actually inadvertently received my duration bloodstream all-around his notepad.

We vowed to never have sexual intercourse behind a college again (although not never ever in a car, cuz which is simply too good), subsequently chuckled for like half a year right. For decades afterwards we would joke regarding the time we got caught ‘”red-handed.”

via reno 911


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4. Damp T-Shirt Contest

I reside in a college dorm, as really does my personal now ex-girlfriend. One night we had been in her own area, having a smashing blast trying out the strap-on she’d merely purchased from Edens Fantasies. Just like circumstances were planning to really “explode,” the fire alarm moved down. My sweetheart ended up being hoping to get the band on off, however the straps had been twisted, citizens were shouting within the hall method, our very own RA was actually slamming regarding doorway, I happened to be nude and that I couldn’t get a hold of my personal bra, I didn’t have footwear, she had been tangled inside the damn utilize… She wound up simply taking the toy from the utilize, putting some sweatpants on over it, therefore we went outside, neither people in boots, me personally just putting on a t-shirt and a couple of her shorts… and it’s raining. My personal t-shirt is white. I don’t have a bra. Needless to say, it was an embarrassing night.

via lesfemmes.tumblr.com


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5. The 69’ers

My personal sweetheart and I happened to be trying to 69 the very first time. We believed it might be sexy to try something new in bed. I was on the bottom and she was on top. Okay, very picture my personal face on the woman pussy and well others is perfectly up to the creativeness. Well I found myself type of unpleasant since I have did not have much mind assistance. And so I decided to lift my personal mind a little in order that i possibly could put some cushions under there or something like that. Really… when I ended up being trying to go my personal head some she should have noticed anything was actually happening and a little pushed down. Really, perhaps not such advisable because the woman entire vagina/bottom one half moved right-up into my personal face. Yea, we chuckled for a whole couple of minutes then.

Jiz Lee and Stoya via Fleshbot


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6. Oops!

As soon as in twelfth grade I became fingerbanging this truly hot lady at her house and she squirted. She was astonished, and that I perhaps was actually as well, but she started weeping! And I also ended up being younger and really strange, and I still don’t know precisely why but we started chuckling, difficult. From which point she slapped me personally (completely deserved it), went along to the restroom came ultimately back and gathered my personal garments (strolling documents). To make certain that ended up being good enough but, I am not saying also kidding once I say that everyday that the story haunts me i must air-five Dan Savage as it very gets better: when I in the morning making we see her mom and I also get immediately nervous but serve lovable and simple because I found myself a total charmer: “Bye, thank you for having myself,” alongside these bullshit. As I change far from this lady, she grabbed me personally from the shoulder and said, “Don’t you actually screwing touch my personal girl once more, dyke.” I wish I’d said, or even just thought some thing clever and bitchy but i recently stated, “sorry sorry” did this awkward bowing motion immediately after which i-cried on drive residence.

I most likely wrecked that family members though therefore it is cool.

via lesfemmes.tumblr.com


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7. Ice

One time I happened to be having sexy time with my gf when – sensation specifically switched on and fresh – we interupted the gender claiming, “I’m going to go get ice, i will be back.” As I was getting off the sleep my personal sweetheart pointed to a wet place in which I have been, stating, “Check everything left!” and giggling. Laughing, then i pointed where she have been and stated, “Take a look what YOU kept!” hit one. On sleep in which my sweetheart had been was a tiny small streak of poop. She immediately burst into rips. I happened to be amazed. The gorgeous time had used a rapid change your worse. As my girlfriend’s sobs increased stronger i discovered it harder and harder to supress my fun until finally it burst of mouth. Hit two. At the my gf – still whining – stood up and started anxiously stripping the sheets from sleep. She rapidly paced all over place getting new sheets on, blubbering about how exactly gross she felt and exactly how embarrassed she ended up being. We helplessly watched and tried to input terms of assistance informing her I didn’t believe it absolutely was that gross. “It isn’t really a big deal, you only didn’t wipe really well!” hit three. She folded to your flooring at the conclusion of the sleep, pulled the big comforter up around the woman physique, sobbed, and consumed a whole field of snacks for the following twenty moments. Ultimately, she calmed down, and now we laugh about any of it. Nonetheless, it absolutely was the funniest but many horrifying experiences of my sex-life.

via sapphoria.tumblr.com


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8. Stuck Fisting

Very, my personal sweetheart and that I were viewing some pornography on Cyber Dyke one night and had gotten really engrossed, therefore we switched it off going play. I was fingerblasting this lady and each and every time i possibly could feel that she was near to climax, I backed off to try to prolong circumstances. This proceeded for 30 minutes. At long last had enough and wished the girl to complete, thus I worked-up to fisting the lady, that was something reasonably brand new both for folks during the time. Whenever she finally emerged, it absolutely was really forceful, it actually hurt my personal hand. We gradually decided to go to get my personal distribute and well, she didn’t want to overlook it, lol. We were stuck. I became totally panicked, i did not consider I became ever going for my give fully out. Neither among us understood what to do, therefore she begrudgingly labeled as her sis and dished the situation to their. We heard uproarious fun from opposite end regarding the telephone for like five full minutes, all the while my hand remains stuck. Ultimately, the woman jackass sibling chose to be wonderful and do just a little Googling about them to assist us and I also at long last worked my personal fist no-cost. We never existed that down however, the woman sis still teases me personally about this basically constantly.

via suicidegirls


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9. Rainbow Gathering

Whenever my personal gf (of 6+ years) and that I met up, I became youthful and unskilled. Really inexperienced. We had been residing in a home that might be considered a kind of indoor Rainbow Gathering with seven some other roommates, directly across from several frat residences,and really near to the university of a sizable public institution. No body locked the front home because everybody was as well stoned to remember where their unique secrets happened to be. My sweetheart and I also had recently bought all of our very first strap-on. Once I wear it for this first time, after roughly an hour or so of band adjusting and dildo position, my personal sweetheart burst into anxious fun. Witnessing a dildo all of a sudden sprout from my big-tits, big-ass, buzzcut home probably looked somewhat absurd. 10 minutes later she had received throughout the silliness from it all provide myself a blowjob. Then door started. A burly looking, demonstrably intoxicated frat guy wandered in, stared at united states for an extra, right after which stated, “Ohhhhhh. Sorry, I thought this was my friend’s room,” in a tone that communicated both a sense of shock and pleasure, like he had merely claimed the lottery or something like that. Then the guy stood truth be told there, staring. My personal girl, recovering from the surprise first, informed him to get the bang out. He turned and was presented with, maybe not towards front door. My gf, having turned in to 6 legs of pure femme rage by this time, had gotten up-and chased him the bang out of our home, naked. I happened to be left in bedroom, determining whether or not to upset the fine stability of bands that held the vibrator set up or even put my tiger-striped robe (given to myself as a present from my personal grandma) within the entire ordeal and hope it don’t fall open. We decided on the second, and timidly made my solution to participate in the inebriated frat man herding.

via femmethings.tumblr.com


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10. Shower Scene

My girl and I also had merely completed getting hired on discreetly into the shower of dressing space from inside the movie theater inside my college. She sweetly kissed me personally in the check and was available in for a hug. Instinctively We right away bro-patted their on back with two taps then believed immediately “what the bang was that?… I hope she doesn’t notice/say anything.” I presented in for a supplementary second to compensate for any possibly-strange bro pat. But then whenever we pulled apart, she looked over me personally, blasts into fun and said, “Did you simply pat myself regarding back…?” We looked down in comprehensive shame. “had been that likely to imply

good task old bean

or something like that?” I was awesome petrified because of the whole ordeal at the time the good news is each time we an exceptionally fantastic rousing circular of sex someone becomes patted regarding straight back.

via elles.tumblr.com

Vote for the favorite story
here
! champions are going to be revealed in a few days.

Plenty of stuff occurred in lesbian gender recently!

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The Rumpus evaluated

The requirement of Particular Behaviours

, an assortment by Shannon Cain that provides several point of views on sexuality and identification:


“Clear intimate summaries energy quite a few of Cain’s greatest passages, as does her refreshingly agnostic and all-embracing viewpoint on sexual desire and identity. In “this is one way It begins,” the protagonist Jane starts the storyline with a “boy” and a “girl” she wants just as: “the lady is actually keen on the woman strap-on. The kid is partial to cunnilingus. This is certainly fulfilling to Jane. Plus, Jane can say this to the girl: ‘It is wonderful if the dick had been bigger.’ Jane wouldn’t normally get this to statement with the man, although it may be somewhat real.” Jane winds up with neither the child nor the girl, however the tale never means that she should or could get to an identity-limiting epiphany, and alternatively ends up with a separate number of bittersweet irony that i will not display.”

via fuckyeahdykes.tumblr.com

+ some individuals currently wondering whether gender addiction is genuine or perhaps is composed by people who simply have actually many intercourse.
According to
the

Vancouver Sunlight

, female intercourse addiction is growing, and even though the examples this article functions tend to be flawed (porn, s&m, and achieving matters are mentioned as proof that “this thing is actually morphing inside top folks”). But weird statements aside, the content increases a couple of fascinating points.
According to

Jezebel:


“That uncontrollable intimate conduct is actually an agonizing affliction is clear, exactly what’s not yet determined is what, precisely, constitutes the difference between gender dependency and the usual compulsive conduct, or if sex addiction also exists, at least in the eyes of some psychological state experts. One critic of sexual addiction warns that conflating intimate fixation with gender addiction really does “real” addicts a disservice. In other words, absolutely a significant difference between becoming an alcoholic and taste pornography a little too a lot. To give an example, the guy supplies examples of other pursuits for which men and women take part compulsively— like exercise, stamp accumulating, and songs fandom. No-one’s “addicted” to Radiohead. No less than, I really don’t think so.”

via shelikesher.tumblr.com

+ Having a “weird” name can influence your internet internet dating selections.
Per
a study of 47,000 people of a German online dating site, people will “notably unappealing” first labels was given less profile hits as opposed to those with “somewhat attractive” names:


Basic brands are attached to stereotypes. As soon as we come to be acquainted with people, the look of them performs a role, but thus really does what this individual is known as. That’s often the basic details we get. This perception has actually a robust effect on exactly how we process extra information about this individual. If a person provides a dubious title, we frequently immediately link him with a dubious label. So we check out examine all more information predicated on this dubiousness.


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Whether flirting is actually an acceptable device for reporters has now already been the topic of argument in the UK, as a parliamentary document commissioned after the phone-hacking scandal
states it is not
:


“Under the going “ten strategies employed by some for the news – beware,” it says: “Flirting. Often interlinked with alcohol. Built to help you to decrease your defences and state far more than you supposed. Be careful.”

via pinktacolovers.tumblr.com


Disclaimer:


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